This is hilarious...to me anyway.

"If I can't help you fix your appliance and make you 100% satisfied, I will come to your home and slice open my belly, spilling my steaming entrails onto your floor." --From ApplianceGuru.com

It would be even more hilarious if I weren't looking for furnace repair info. The fan relay in our fine 1975 vintage furnace has decided to go into semi-retirement and only works occasionally. Took 'er open and found the coil has had some issues with shorted turns. Getting a new one is easy enough and only maybe $30 or less. Decided to pop open the electrial panel in the furnace and found the low-voltage wiring is not too happy in there...will have to replace some.